Merry Mind

While I was thinking of what I wanted my company to be called, I couldn’t help but relate pain and health to my mind and how the ill effects of those things can influence it so much. I haven’t really told anyone about this because I have a pretty strong exterior, but the year before my surgeries (and even a couple of years before that) were my most difficult mentally. Just thinking about this makes me tear up. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have gone into my room or locked myself in the bathroom for a good cry because of the pain and the way it overtook my mind. Ok, now I’m doing my ugly cry. It is so hard to think about the way I treated my family because I couldn’t deal with everything at once. Having young children while dealing with osteo-arthritis in my hips is a whole other level of insanity that parenting already brings. Our mind is so powerful in how we function everyday and being sick or in pain makes it difficult to even accomplish simple tasks like playing with your children and getting the kitchen cleaned up from breakfast. Not to mention the impatience. My dad was very impatient when I was growing up and my mom said it was because he was in pain (we have a genetic disorder called Collagenopathy 2A1) and I never really understood what that meant until about 4 years ago. It truly over powers everything else. Once my father got his hip replaced he was a new man! It is SO hard to deal with kid’s and even everyday tasks in a positive mental state. For the first time 2 weeks ago in about 4 years, my husband Ben came home and said “why are you in such a good mood?” I think that says a lot and it sucks knowing how terrible I must have been all these years. I told him it’s because I feel “normal”. I had no reason to be upset, depressed or frustrated. My son Will said last night, we haven’t fought in awhile. Wow. It was that bad. As awful as that was to hear, I’m so grateful it’s in the past. All I can do is go forward from here and I’m forever thankful that I can live pain free and that I can share my journey with you all and others who need the support and hope. I also want to say that I will be forever thankful to those who stepped in to help me, whether it was with the kid’s, emptying my dishwasher when things were impossible or helping me pack when we were moving  (among many other things). I don’t know what I would have done without you, you all know who you are and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! I feel like there’s nothing I can do that could repay for what you have done for me. I do have to give a shout out to my amazing parent’s and in-laws, you are the best parent’s we could have ever asked for!!

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